How to write a goodbye letter to a deceased loved one

Losing someone you love is one of life’s most painful experiences. In the midst of grief, many people feel the urge to express their emotions, and writing a letter can become a deeply healing act. A goodbye letter to a deceased loved one can help you release your feelings and keep their memory alive.

In this article, we’ll walk you through how to write a goodbye letter with honesty, respect, and meaning. You'll find ideas, an example, and gentle guidance to help you say a proper goodbye in your own words.

Why write a goodbye letter to a deceased loved one?

Writing a goodbye letter to a deceased loved one is more than just words. It’s actually a personal tribute, a way to reflect and close chapters, and a powerful step in the grieving process.

After a loved one passes away, it’s common to feel like things were left unsaid. Maybe you want to thank them, ask for forgiveness, or simply tell them how much you miss them. Writing a letter gives you the space to put your feelings and thoughts into words in a heartfelt, private way.

This act can help you cope with grief in a healthier way. Rather than focusing only on the loss, you can remember the moments you shared, the lessons they taught you, and how they made your life better. In doing so, you're keeping their memory alive and allowing yourself to heal through connection.

How to write a goodbye letter to a loved one who is no longer with us

There’s no right or wrong way to write a goodbye letter to a deceased loved one, but these suggestions may help you get started:

• Find a quiet moment and space where you feel comfortable and calm.
• Write as if you’re speaking directly to them. Use the name or nickname you always used.
• Talk about the memories you cherish, the things that made your relationship special.
• Express the feelings you didn’t get to share—gratitude, love, sorrow, or anything left unsaid.
• End your letter with a meaningful farewell that brings you comfort and peace.

If you’re struggling to find the right words, we have an article in which we share tips to choose memorial quotes for a deceased loved one.

What to do with a letter written to someone who passed away

Once your goodbye letter is written, you may wonder what to do with it. There’s no correct answer, just follow your heart and choose what feels right for you. However, here you have some common things people usually do:

• Keep it somewhere special, like a memory box, journal, or next to a photo.
• Read it aloud during a private moment or as part of a ceremony, such as a funeral or anniversary.
• Place it in the casket during the wake or cremation as a symbolic final gesture.
• Bury or burn it as part of a personal ritual, if that helps you let go emotionally.
• Share it with family or close friends who might resonate with your words and emotions.

Some families also choose to include the letter with the deceased’s ashes or coffin. Others prefer to keep it as a private expression of love. There’s no wrong way—only the one that brings you peace.

Example of a goodbye letter to a deceased loved one

If you’re unsure how to begin, here’s a sample letter to help you find inspiration and shape your own farewell:

Dear Mom,

Today I sit down to write to you, knowing I can no longer hug you or hear your laughter, but with the hope that somehow, these words will reach you.

Thank you for being my guide, my refuge, and my strength. I carry with me every piece of advice, every loving gesture, every look that said more than words. It’s hard to imagine my days without you, but I know your presence will remain with me in every step I take.

I miss you every single moment, but I will carry you in my heart forever. This letter is just a small reflection of everything you mean to me. Farewell for now, Mom. I love you.

With love,

Your daughter

Recommendations for writing a goodbye letter to a deceased loved one

Writing such a personal letter can bring up many emotions. These gentle tips can help you approach it with care:

• Take your time—there’s no rush to start or finish the letter.
• Be honest and kind to yourself. Don’t worry about style or grammar—what matters is your truth.
• If it takes more than one sitting, that’s okay. Grief moves at its own pace.
• Writing by hand is more advisable since it can make the process feel more meaningful and personal.
• Remember that this letter is yours. You don’t have to share it unless you want to.

And if you’re supporting someone who has lost a loved one, you may also find helpful suggestions in our article on how to express condolences in writing, where we share compassionate ideas for comforting others in grief.